wtf really

Ok so here starts my rant for the day. who spends like 110 dollars on eating out fast food and bars and actuall restraunts and some things for the baby when your tight on money and your on a vacation, while the other half of your family has nothing really to eat, and has been pretty much living off of mac n cheese, rice, hot dogs. oh and mcds once. .. as the mommy ill try to go with out eating a meal or two,so i can feed my son, since my son eating is more important.. i have never felt like my son and i mean nothing to a certain person ever in my life... im not going to lie i did spend a little bit of money on a couple of christmas gifts for my children and a pair of shoes for me and mcds and taco johns once which i had spent 49 dollars. Iv had to borrow little bits of money from my mother so i can buy cheap food to eat, or put some gas in our vehicle.. well now we only have enough money for my husband to fly home cause he needs to pay for his luggage and then well have maybe 20 dollars to last us to next pay day and that prolly wont happen cause i need to pust some kind of gas in our durango so i can pick my husband and daughter up from the airport sunday night well maybe their flight got canceled again so who knows when ill see my daughter and husband again. I just hope hell be home for christmas. This stupid storm on the east coast is making it harder for me to be calm and not so emotional... like a really good friend said bah hum bug. if it wasnt for my son loving the lights and the decorations that everyone has out for christmas i prolly wouldnt care.. things are tight and i feel like im starting to loose myself in all of my emotions and feelings. i dont know if i need help from a dr. or what but like i said im loosing myself and i cant do that to my kids they are my everything without them i would die. god please hear my plea../ prayer.. please help me get through this and let me find my way and the ability to be strong...